DEAR ME...

So blogmas is well and truly underway and I'm loving some of the posts I've been reading but I am determined to keep my posts as original as possible! The festive period is a time for reflection so I have decided to write letters to my past, to my present and to my future self...

Tweet me at @antoniawritesx or comment below if you decide to write a similar post yourself! I'd love to read them!

To my ghost of Christmas past...

Dear 16 year old me,

I look back at you through gritted teeth as I know you're about to make some naive decisions and invest time in friendships which you should otherwise avoid. This year, you finish your GCSEs and are about to make a massive leap into the next chapter of your life: dreaded A Levels and Sixth Form. 

My advice to you is simple: do not fret about friendships that are starting to fade away. Ultimately, everything happens for a reason and friendships are a two way thing. If people are meant to be in your life, they would make the effort to stay. There's no need to desperately fight to keep people in your life who simply don't want to be in it anymore and watch who you trust. 

That leads me onto my second pearl of wisdom. Stop trying to fit in and please others so much. You are who you are and there is no point in compromising that to fit in with 'everybody else'. So dress the way you like, say what you feel is right in the moment and never punish yourself for making mistakes. 

PS. Tone down the heavy eyeliner, definitely ditch the Maybelline Matte Mousse foundation which is too dark for your skin tone and stop backcombing your hair so much. You will definitely regret it later on when looking back on old photos!

To my ghost of Christmas present....

Dear me right now,

You just need to remind yourself of everything you've actually achieved from time to time. Yes sometimes uni can feel weird, even though it's already been a year; it can feel like you're constantly trying to 'find' your place. But ultimately, you will always be a little fish in a very big ocean.  Stop obsessing about perfection (what even is that anyway?) and stop beating yourself up about not being 'good enough'. 

Most importantly, start focusing on the present. 

Yes there are past traumas that will always be on your mind and yes, there will always be things knocking you back which are yet to come. But worrying about the past and the future so much prevents you from truly living in the moment and that's definitely something you need to work on. 

So continue doing your own thing, even if everybody else around you seems to question the choices you make and above all, be happy, laugh more and don't take everything too seriously, because it's these moments which you will look back on some day and it would be sad to taint them with silly self doubt and insecurity.

To my ghost of Christmas future...

Hello me of the future, 

I wonder what you look like, what choices you've made and most importantly, if you're happy with them. 

Despite the inevitable mistakes you have made in the past, I hope you have guarded your integrity, your values and have carried these on into the future. Uni could have morphed you into someone you're not but you were strong enough to not let that happen, so continue to be yourself. 

I hope many of the people who I love right now are still around and I hope those friendships have continued to flourish and grow with time.

Be happy, always remember to laugh and most importantly, always be you!

I really liked doing this reflective post, so I hope you enjoyed reading! If you could write to your younger self, what would you say? What do you think is the most important message that you should take on board, now in the present? And what would you like to ask your future self?

Antonia x